Jul 18 2010
Bet on Cesc Fabregas Staying With Arsenal for at Least Another Year
by JP Shaw
Filed under: Arsenal, xxxxxxx, Manchester United, Betting, England
The World Cup is no more. It was pretty much a damp squib of an affair for the most part with that damp squid thingy, Paul the Octopus, emerging with more credit than the competition itself.
Defensive football overshadowed attacking ploys for the majority of the tournament with cynical challenges pushing both the referees and the spirit of the game to the limit. The best team prevailed, in the end, but by and large it wasn’t pretty to watch, which is quite often a bad thing in a spectator sport.
This World Cup will be remembered for being in Africa, which gave commentators, and pundits in Europe free license to patronise them. It will also be remembered for that bloody vuvuzela, Joachim Low‘s V-neck, the Jabulani, the goal-line technology debate re-visited once again and Paul, the psychic Octopus.
You couldn’t escape the horn wherever you were. It’s the musical equivalent of James Corden – wherever he sits he’s next to you. The vuvuzela is perhaps the most annoying World Cup soundtrack of all time, that’s if you exclude Clive Tyldesley and that Terry Venables song.
Some say the vvuzelas emphasised the World Cup’s South African-ness in the same way the ticker-tape branded Argentina ’78 and stolen jewellery was the Mexico ’70 signature. I say they sound like the mating call of some desperate African female beast, which is perhaps why John Terry seemed so distracted for most of England’s matches.
The British-born Octopus (you have to clasp at straws) called Paul shot to fame for his uncannily accurate World Cup predictions. He has subsequently retired, as if eating food was too demanding a task for a cephalopod mollusk. Nobody had a better tournament than Paul the Octopus, except maybe the bookies.
Spare a thought for the punter who stuck £37,000 on Wayne Rooney to be the World Cup’s top scorer. There’s only one thing more stupid than placing a bet like that – and that’s admitting to it.
A businessman from Wales was one of the few men in his country cheering on England. Actually, that’s unfair. He was the only man in Wales cheering on England. The businessman owns a chain of electrical good shops which just goes to show when you sell electrical goods you can place a high charge.
A Coral spokesman said: “The bet was one of the largest placed with us for the World Cup.” He said it with the look of a man planning a party.
Fernando Torres is a rarity in world football. He features the killer instinct of a paid assassin. Touted as a £70 million purchase before the tournament started, his value plummeted to around the £30 million mark by the end of it – and who wants to splash out that sort of money on an injury-prone thoroughbred? Answer: Manchester City.
Rated top-notch in the Premier League, it may surprise you to learn that Spanish fans have long had their doubts about El Nino. Spain use Villa as an out-and-out striker – Torres is more an in-an-out striker. In six games at the European Championships two years ago, Torres completed the 90 minutes only once. In the World Cup he fell further out of favour, relegated to the bench, admittedly one expensive bench. That’s why he’s 2-5 with Hills to still be a xxxxxxx player at the start of the season.
Cesc Fabregas is 8-11 to stay at Arsenal and evens to say adios. Take the 8-11 he stays put. Barca have such bad financial problems they are seriously contemplating following my lead – consolidating all their loans into one big loan, then not paying it back. Besides, Fabregas still has five years of his contract to run, it’s not as if his value is going to go down after another season at the Emirates. Arsenal have no reason to sell whatsoever – and they won’t.
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